Can I interest you in a peanut butter sandwich?

Here's the deal: DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED!!!!!

Consider yourself warned if you proceed and don't get mad at me.

I have shared this story with Granny and Aunt Kim but not really anyone else due to it's graphic nature. But, recently Adri heard it and couldn't stop laughing. She feels the story needs to be shared. I think it gives a glimpse (be it good or bad) of our life in the circle. It's never a dull moment with JMU! :)

I don't really let JMU chew gum if I can help it. He pulls it out of his mouth and plays with it. It eventually ends up somewhere it shouldn't be. This night was no different.
JMU got a hold of a piece of gum. I saw him chewing it and was busy trying to make dinner so I didn't want to fight with him about throwing it away. We ate dinner-I forgot about the gum-and it was bath time. I told him to go jump in the tub. Next thing I know JMU comes into the kitchen all wet and dripping on the tile. Here's what happens next:
He says "Mom, I think we have a little problem."
I say "What's a matter? Go get back in the tub. You're getting the floor all wet."
He says "Well, you're going to get mad."
I say (in my best fed-up Mom voice)"What? Just tell me."
JMU says "It's about the gum. Ummm, I got it on me."
I look at him. I'm looking for the gum somewhere. I don't see any.
I say "Where is it? Is it in the tub?"
JMU looks down at his naked body and points to his p****. Then, he points.
I am confused, mad, and finding this a little funny. Mostly mad.
I say "How on earth! For the love!! This is why I don't let you have gum. How did you do this? I told you to keep the gum in your mouth. What on earth were you doing wrapping gum around your p****?"
I don't let him answer any of these questions because I am still in disbelief.
JMU says "I'm sorry! I was just playing with it. I tried to wipe it off and it won't come off."
I say "Come on. Let's go into the bathroom. Let me get it off." At this point I'm thinking it will just wipe off. Oh no, too easy. We go into the bathroom. I make him lay on the counter. I tried to wipe it off with a wash cloth (no), soap (no). I yell for NU to come into the bathroom. It's all over the entire p**** area. NU just looks at me and asks how we get it off. This is where it gets good-I remember Kim telling me about getting gum out of Kennedy's hair. I remembered her mentioning butter and peanut butter. I don't know why it works-it just does.
So, I go the the kitchen and grab a cube of butter and the peanut butter. I head back to the bathroom to see what comes of this.
Picture me-greasing up my son's private parts with peanut butter and butter-trying to pick off gum. JMU is laughing during all of this. It may have been fun for him. I don't think I had this much "bonding" even when I changed his diapers!
Anyway, we get the gum off eventually. Used a 1/2 jar of peanut butter.
The next day I tell Kim this entire episode. It gets funnier the more I think about it. Kim started calling it p**** butter.
Lesson learned-Don't come to my house asking for a peanut butter sandwich. You never know where it's been.

It's been a while.

Ok. I've been anti-blogging for quite some time now. I think I'm ready to start keeping it real. We just got back from Hawaii. We always love it. Everyone has asked how it was and it got me thinking how sad it would be if I said "bad." It was wonderful! We had beautiful weather the entire time. The awful 6 hour flight wasn't so awful this time. Yes, it was long but it was so much better than the previous years. Our friends, the Sheriff and his wife, joined us this year. The kids had a great time playing together. We went to the North Shore and played in the waves. I would like to say we all enjoyed it but NU & AW wouldn't get in the water. NU claimed her usual deadly fear of sharks(this from a grown adult.) AW wasn't scared of sharks ( I don't think she was aware of that possibility.) but she was scared of all other living creatures in the sea. It seems that JMU and Little AW were the only ones brave enough to join SW, JW, and myself in the VERY large waves. I don't know if that's good or just plain dumb on the adults part. Thank goodness for swim lessons and life jackets. (It's also good that Granny wasn't there to witness this fun.)
We stayed in Honolulu for the first couple of days. I have a hotel that I stumbled upon years ago. It used to be the Mandarin Hotel. The hotel has a center court that has 6 dolphins living in it. If you arrive at feeding time you can see a great show. Well...we went to see the dolphins and it just happened to be the day that the Vet. came to give check-ups. We were the only people watching and SW started talking to the Vet. It turns out that he knew SW's Vet. in PC. After he was done with the check-up he brought JMU, AW, and Little AW in to pet the dophins. It was so amazing!