Adoption day. It was five years ago today that I had the best day of my life. I didn't know it at the time it was happening-I knew it was big but I didn't understand how big. I suppose that's how it is with the best day of your life-you never realize until after the fact.
I don't remember much about that first year. It was such a crazy experience. We met him on a Tuesday. I hadn't even seen a picture of him prior to that moment. We spent a few hours with him each day & then brought him home forever on Saturday.
Jayden always asks me about the first time I met him. I tell him it was the best moment of my life. I remember watching him play on the playground. I recall thinking to myself "Don't forget this moment." Then, he came inside the building to meet us. We shared a peanut butter sandwich and a yogurt. He was quiet and sullen. He wouldn't let me get too close to him. It was hard for me to say goodbye to him knowing he had to stay in the group home again. He was the youngest child they had ever housed.
Day by day, he started looking forward to us coming to visit. I made a small book to show him pictures of his room, house, and Zoe. I can't even imagine what that must have been like for him-so much change, not knowing what's next, wondering where you were going. The first night we brought him home I don't think anyone slept. I was so worried about him all alone in his room in this new house. He wouldn't ever get out of bed back then. He had been too scared. The group home had had alarms on the floors so that they would know when children were up.
I think I cried almost every day that first year. I think he did too. We were both trying hard to figure this out. I don't remember much about that time. I guess it's like childbirth-best if you just remember the joy & not how painful it was. It's always been two steps forward-one step back with this little guy.
Funny, resilient, daring, tenacious, honest, strong, independent, amazing. Just a few words to describe who he is. He still amazes me each and every day. No one makes me laugh like he does. We still cry when we both need to. He's like air to me-there wouldn't be life without him. Thank-you Jayden for just being you!
